If there is one thing that we all have learned this past year, it is that nobody really knows exactly what they are doing. Ever. While it is possible to have an educated guess, nobody really knows. Take a look at all the experts that got it wrong in 2020. They are human too, just like you, just like me. If you were not gentle on them, how are you to be gentle on yourself?
I do not claim to be an expert on anything, and I do not want to be. Once you claim expert status, it is a whole ‘nother ball game. Over the most recent years, I have been told that I am an expert marketer and it never sat right with me. Do I know a lot about marketing in todays world? Yes. More than the average businessperson? Yes. Could I get up and teach others marketing processes and strategies? Also, yes, but I am not always right when it comes to the subject. Just like how often the weatherperson is right. Do we know when a storm is coming? No, we know there is a chance of storms. We prepare for that chance and make decisions about the chance.
None of us really have the answers until we are in the moment where we need to know them. In almost every situation, there is no amount of knowledge that you could gain beforehand that you know for a fact that it will be helpful. That happens in the moment. It also happens in hindsight.
I think about the struggles that I have been in, worrying that I do not know what to do and they all turned out fine. Maybe not the best at the time but everything I have learned from the process has been helpful for the next situation. You can’t do better, until you know better. Think about it. Take giving birth as an example. You buy all the books, take all the classes, ask your doctor all the questions, and how much of it really went by your plan? Typically, it doesn’t go that way, but while it is happening, you do trust that you are in good hands and as crazy or messy as it can get, you allow your beautiful baby to be born. That plan no longer matters and now you are left to figure out how to be a good mother. From my experience, that plan doesn’t go as expected either. Life happens, messes happen, and shit happens (figuratively and literally), but as long as you have love for your child, nothing can stand in the way between you two. I question if I am a good mother all the time and what I have found is the fact that I am even questioning it, means that care enough to be doing the best job that I can. Do they have handbooks on being a mother? Sure, but you really don’t know what you are doing until it is time to do it and with each moment, you know better and then you do better. If you can be gentle with your child, you are fully capable of being gentle with yourself.
Am I an expert mother? Oh, hell no. But I do know that I am doing my best from what I know today. And tomorrow, I will do better. Not just with motherhood but with everything I am learning in this one wild and precious life. We ALL are trying to become the best versions of ourselves from what we have learned.
If you are an entrepreneur, the answer is probably no one. Or yourself.
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